So today I went to my grandparent's house....like I do for every Thanksgiving. To me, holidays like this are always a mixed bag. My family is extremely loud and outgoing (I guess the apple never falls far from the loud and outgoing forest). They get into yelling matches over the dumbest shit. My mom and aunt actually had a loud debate over who was a better singer....kelly clarkson or carrie underwood? I'll settle this debate.....who gives a flying fuck??? Ha....seriously though...it was just kind of amusing. I've gotten so used to my family...all of the yelling is second nature to me. I know they all love each other...they just don't know how to show it. They are how I used to be....and I'm glad I can finally say "used to be." Oh well....there were still some highlights of the day. I played scrabble with my mother and my grandmother...and not to tute my own horn...but I pretty much crushed them. I added the letters "ty" to "six" and got a triple word score....and I was like..."damn, see how i did that???" After that, I just kind of sat around and watched the football games until dinner...listening to all of the different arguments/discussions that were going on around me. Don't get me wrong...I love my family...they have always been there for me...and I really appreciate that....it's just that they are a unique bunch of people. I will say that dinner was delicious. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, ham, gravy....everything was there. And for dessert...carvel ice cream cake. Ever had it??? If not, go out and buy one immediately. The night started to wind down with a bunch of us playing this game called michigan rummy. It is a card game that is literally 100 percent luck.....which as much as I hate to say it....usually means I never win. Tonight of course was no different. I ended up losing three bucks by the time everything was said and done. All games and family aside....this thanksgiving was really lonely for me. Despite being surrounded by tons of noise...I got lost in my own thoughts. I wish she was there to talk to. I wish she would call and tell me that I have no reason to feel alone. It's ok...I will fight through this. Holidays just have a way of bringing out the sadness in people when the person they care most about isn't around. Oh well....life goes on.

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