Damn...I can't believe Thanksgiving Break is almost over already. It seems like it just started yesterday. A lot has happened over the past 4 days. I have pretty much spent the entire break hanging out with a group of my friends. Our activities ranged from poker, hearts, pool, and darts....to video games, scattegories, cranium, and going out to eat. Although the spectrum of righteousness was vast, the majority of the time was spent in my basement. There were so many different people at my house today...it was ridiculous. At some points...there were actually 11 people in my basement. Let's see....all of the following people were at my house for at least part of the day (not necessarily at the same time): Me, Brett, Nick, Casey, Keith, Meghan, Niki, Scott, Danny, Andrea, Paul, CJ, Antonio....yes...I think that's it.....13 people. I had a lot of fun today. Probably the most fun I could have had without leaving the house (considering my overall mental state). Times like these make me wish that winter break was here.......


I realized something tonight. I am never going to forget her. I have developed the ability to cover up how I feel. I don't want my friends to see. Most of them already know anyway....As soon as everyone leaves and I get a chance to reflect on the day....my mind slips back into its old habits. I wish I could call her and tell her about my day. I wish she was here with us. Watching some of my other friends interact with their significant others only makes things worse. I try to keep telling myself that this feeling will pass....that I will make it through this. I do believe that I will....and that some day...these memories that are causing me so much pain will be distant. However, they will NEVER be forgotten. The time that we spent together will never be lost....there are so many moments that I wish I could travel back to....there are times that I wish I could just revisit...instances that I could live in forever. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me....even now that she is gone. I'm trying my best to move forward....and if moving forward calls for looking back at the past and smiling every now and again....then that is what I'm going to do. No matter what the future holds for the two of us....she will always be my first love. I hope she is having a good vacatation. I'd like to think to myself that she is happy. It makes me smile.


I guess the only thing left for me to do is get some sleep. It is almost 1:00am here and I need to spend some time on my insanely long research paper tomorrow. 7-10 pages my ass. I'm about to call my teacher up and ask for her to change it to about 7-10 sentences. It seems like a more reasonable assignment. What the hell...I'd even spring for a page or two. Does anyone else hate research papers??? cuz damn.......

Research
I hate homework period so research papers are a definite NO!! That is the one thing I hate the most about school!
» kkama67 on 2006-11-26 01:22:26

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