Thursday. 1.18.07 11:12 am
What do you do when the girl of your dreams comes back to you and tells you that she still loves you???...that she wants to give you a serious second chance??? well, I'll tell you what I did...I became the happiest guy alive...and I more or less gave her my heart on a silver platter. Now...two days later...she told me that the spark that we used to have together was gone for her....and that the spark was there for somebody else. She told me that the feeling of being in love should be there right away...even if we had been apart for over two months. Well, I completely disagree with this notion. I believe that when you have been away from the person that you were once in love with...it takes a little bit of time before the old feelings will come back...certainly more than just two days. Her reasoning was that no matter how long she was away from this other guy...that spark would always come back when she saw him....well, the more I think about it now...the more I think this so called spark for this guy may just be deeper feelings of lust...or just a really strong friendship...she has broken up with this guy like 4 or 5 times in the past and I believe there has to be a reason this keeps happening...she told me he lacks the stability and security that she is looking for...a car, a license, a job, etc....and that she is scared of being with somebody like that...well I hate to break it to her...but these are not just things that he is has yet to achieve...they are reflections of his personality....a lack of initiative/motivation...and don't get me wrong...I have no problem with this guy...I never even met him...it would be wrong for me to judge him...it's his life..and he can live it however he chooses...all I'm saying is...these personality traits that he has are obviously something that she does not like...and so she keeps jumping back and forth....I just do not believe life is fair at all...to be told that you are the guy that she should be with...to be told that you are the type of guy that she would always end up with...to be told that her head is telling her to be with you...but her heart is telling her something different...well, it just hurts....I know I have made some mistakes in the past...but I don't think I ever deserved this...she made me feel like a million bucks and then crushed me within a two day span...and the funniest part is (for lack of a better word)...I'm not mad at her...I guess that's what happens when you are in love....all other feelings become overpowered...oh well...I will have to accept that life just isn't fair...and that maybe one day things will be different between us...but who the hell knows anymore? I just hope she finds happiness...
sorry about the giant run-on sentence....it's weird that I'm not even scared to make this entry public...I guess I don't care about opening myself up anymore...
That sucks prety hardcore. I'm at a loss of words that can comfort - not sure there's anything I can even say that would make any diffrence. I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me....but, for what it's worth - that sucks and I'm sorry that she did that to you.
» Helena on 2007-01-18 03:02:41
If she feels that way I don't think she deserves you... I mean I don't really know you (heh sorry about the corny inspirational sentence there), but if somebody can totally disregard your opinions and feelings like that... well...
You can find somebody better.
» randomjunk on 2007-01-18 11:57:45
I know how you feel. All you can do is.. live. Chances are that if she was truly the one, then the pain won't ever go away completetly, but it will eventually subside til its at a level where you can see another couple and not get depressed.
» Dilated on 2007-01-19 04:03:28
thanks for the comments.... any advice helps...if only a little...and i appreciate it....the worst part is....right now...i don't think i will ever find someone better....i know there is no way for me to actually know this....it's just how I'm feeling right now....I should have every reason to be so pissed at her that I'd never talk to her again...but you know what? I'm not pissed at all...my feelings for her remain the same...and I guess I just need to pretend that I'm moving on...at least for now....
» Rip-Tide-Prophecy on 2007-01-19 07:55:15
love takes on many forms and wanes and waxes just like the moon as time goes on... when keith and i got back together it wasn't a sporadic spark that made me feel like staying together was worth it, it was the reassurance that some day that spark will show up in the form I want it to, and in the mean time just hard work and communicating. Sparks are temporary too, no matter how long term the relationship and u have to WORK to make it spark. It just doesn't happen, when it just happens that means u havent been with the person long enough to realize this, or it's a crush... an infatuation... lust. Not love. Love is not all about sparks. It's about being with someone you can confide in, someone you can grow old with, and someone who brings out the best in you and you the best in them. Even if our hearts or heads tell us to have fun and be with someone who we "spark with" better... it's these things that in the end that count. Maybe Christine isn't ready for the real thing yet... maybe the world isn't ready but you are. Everyone must choose what it is they want.
» xXxshegzxXx on 2007-01-20 08:08:19
if she's not ready to work at a relationship, then she's not ready for any relationship. i like christine, but i didn't think she'd do this at all. don't worry; you were lingering for the past two months, and now you are ready to move on.
cheers,
sank
» thaitanic on 2007-01-21 11:44:49
why try to smear someone elses name when you know nothing about them. i didn't even smear your name or try and pick you apart and discover what lies beneath.. yeah, i said you're a dick head, but you knew that.. or else you wouldn't have been trying to "change"..
just mind your business because this is now between her and i and if she thinks it depicts my character, then so be it.. but you don't know anything about me.. she, on the other hand does.
thank you.
» ThisCharmingMan on 2007-01-21 11:58:52
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